How to write personalised vows
I often get asked by my couples if I could give them direction on how to write their vows, whether I have examples or if they can opt out! The last request usually comes from fear of public speaking.
My advice for writing truly personalised vows is to start with the basics.
1. Firstly come up with a structure. Will you write your wedding vows together, or separately?
2. Will you show them to each other beforehand, or will you keep them a secret until the ceremony?
3. Ask yourself firstly what are the key qualities you see in your partner, why you are marrying your partner. Write these points down.
4. Think about the adventures and shared memories you have had with each other. Write some points down.
5. Remove all cliches and corniness from your vows
6. Work with your partner so you have a similar format, tone and length
7. Here are some examples for Vow starters:
I vow to…I’ll always…Together, we’ll…When you’re up, I’ll…When you’re down, I’ll…Our future will bring us…I will never let…You make me…You give me…Because of you, I see the world…We share…Life is better infinitely better with you in it because…I’m proud of…Your smile makes me…I admire…You’ve taught me…I look forward to…I’m crazy about…I value your…I can’t believe that…The first time I saw you, I…I realised I loved you when…
8. Research online for inspiration
9. Ask your celebrant for examples of vows from their resource kit
10. Be honest
11. Come up with one or two promises
12. Keep your vows to 1-2 minutes
13. remove anything embarrassing or cryptic
14. Practice reading them out loud
I hope by following these guidelines your outcome will be truly memorable vows. Vows that will not only have an effect on you both but will translate to your audience and have lasting memories.